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Welp, Its Been A Year.

     Well, it has been a year. No not since I started my blog but rather since the event that inspired this blog to be thrust into existence, the passing of my mom. This blog, like many things, started in the notes app of my phone, and then was migrated into the public sphere, after much debate. As I write this I reflect on the year that I have had since the tragic and untimely demise of my sweet mama. 
    Since that time, I have: 

        • Attended 4 weddings
        • gone to two concerts
        • been on 4 out of state trips
        • Attended 1 Baptism
        • bought a new car
        • gotten promoted at my job
    And by all means these were all great things, and deserve to be celebrated. At times however, these occasions feel empty, or at the very least like they are missing something. And truthfully they are. All of these are milestones for either me, or people close to me, that mom was supposed to be there for, and her presence was very obviously missed. All that aside, I've had a pretty good year.

    Earlier this week I got to go to a concert I had been looking forward to not only since I bought the tickets, but since I was probably about 12 years old. I got to see Fall Out Boy with two of my friends.  And let me tell you, the show was incredible. This is a band I have loved for years and really thought I would never get to see live. Believe me when I say that the showmanship was insane. I screamed and cried and just had the best time while also watching my friends Lucian and Meredith explode with pure unadulterated joy and childlike wonder. It was awesome, and I can safely say it was one of the biggest highlights of my life to date, and will absolutely become a core memory for me. It was only upon my arrival home, Mere driving off into the literal sunset post drop-off that it hit me. (not post concert depression that surprisingly has not hit yet, this may be a record for me) But no. The realization was that Sunday, July 2, 2023 would be a full year without mom by my side. 

    It really did sneak up on me. Tomorrow we are holding our one year memorial for my mom as is the custom in the Orthodox Church. My mom's dear friend Mollie and I made the koliva for mom's memorial tonight, and my mom's God mother has made some as well for the memorial they are holding in the DFW area tomorrow as well. If you don't know what Koliva is, it is a traditional food made in memory of someone who has died and it consists primarily of boiled wheat. It is a lengthy process and can be painstaking, but it is definitely a labor of love and mercy. I feel like it's very polarizing as a food because people either love it or hate it in my experience, but they'll eat it anyway to honor both the family offering it and the person it was made in memory of. Either way, it has been made, and it was nice to be able to honor my mom in this way. 

    In the Orthodox Church, when someone passes, we say "May their memory be Eternal" and with that I will end this post .

May her memory be eternal! 
Teresa Jan Nials (Tarasia) 
September 27, 1965- July 2, 2022

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